On 24 Years Old

A little surprise from my cousin on my 24th birthday

Dress (Lookboutique Store), Scarf (H&M)

Last August, I am officially 24 years old. As a person, I am that one kind who don't really like large parties and celebrations. In fact I don't really feel comfortable being surrounded by too much people, a true introvert, I guess? So I deeply appreciate my cousin for this surprise she gave me. A simple staycation in a hotel room so we can enjoy full service on a special day, a late night supper while watching movie in the middle of the night just because we want to, and a great buffet in the morning after a quality morning swim, is a perfect celebration for me.  

A gift from my cousin, a secondhand book.

Actually, that time was the first time I hear about Elizabeth Pisani. But how funny life was, at the end of October when I attend Ubud Writers & Readers Festival turns out that Elizabeth Pisani was one of the speaker and I loveee her dearly for her witty thoughts (going to share about Ubud Writers and Readers Festival 2016 in a separate blog post). 

A gift from my man, The Diary of A Young Girl by Anne Frank and a Scarf (Moral)

On this post about age I want to take a little time to pause and look at my life. Because what does aging mean without a little time for a little reflection and evaluation, right? If I can divide my life simply into two categories consist of progress and goals, I may not have much progress to get my goals done.  I am 24 years old now, basically still unemployed since I am still doing my clinical years as a dental student to get my DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) title. When my friends are getting married, having babies, getting their first paycheck, getting their master's degree, getting a loan for their first house,  I'm still stuck in the same phase since I enter this School of Dentistry 6 years ago. 

But, is our life really only measured by those mundane and standardized value created by merely human based on social stereotype? I think life is larger than that, no? I guess I should be thankful for this life God gave me not only by how much money I make, how great my relationship is with my significant other, how perfect my family is, or how normal I am compared to societies around me. If you can describe how normal is anyway...

No, I can not reflect and evaluate these 24 years I've spent based only on those things above. There is so much more about life I should also take a peek into, no? There is experience which I can get from traveling, expanding my horizon, or volunteering in a social cause, there is lesson which I can learn from my imperfect family life, from the little ballerina in a ballet studio I regularly visit, or even lesson I often received from my patient, there is new perspective I can get from the Mandarin class I join, from the little yet comfortable restaurant I visited, or from that not-so-close friend I accidentaly met while I was traveling alone. Isn't that little things that happen in each and every day is as valuable as the big moments people usually celebrate (like graduation, marriage, and another celebratory events)?

So on this moment, I want to thank god for giving me imperfect family life -and let the detail be unexplained- so that I can learn to be independent, to be strong, to be resilient, and to be prepared of whatever might happen. I want to thank god for showing me that life is more complicated than movie, where the downside scene can not be fast forwarded and have to be faced, where the goal is not the happy ending but to survive each and everyday and make the most of it. By this lesson I can learn to see life beyond the social stereotype, I can be more considerate toward others' actions or opinions or choices because I know there is always reasons behind it. I can learn to challenge my mind to live life with more purpose beyond my personal happiness, because I know that out there life is more complicated than what I know here in my still comfort zone compared to them; for example I should not think only about how happy I am to be in a relationship with my perfect man yet I have to think that out there thousands of children might undergo an unideal circumstances that can prevent them to get the best education, the best health access, and another development access. 

I want to thank god for opening my eyes with every little details that happen in my each and every day so that I can learn to seek for purpose of my existence other than my own happiness such as money, fame, perfect family, perfect relationship, and not to mention those (dreamy) so called happy ending bluntly interpreted from those fairy tales. I want to thank God for reminding me that I have to be the best version of my self hence I can give more impact to as much aspects as I can.

To put it simple, for me, there is so much more things that I can celebrate in each and every day, much more than those annual milestones people usually celebrate based on social stereotype. I want to thank God for the downside, the upside, the imperfect, the complexity, the funny moments that happen in each and every day of my life hence I can learn, celebrate, and make meanings out of each and every day. Because life is much more than pretty pictures consist of smiling faces in front of a decorated venue posted on Instagram, right? :)

Travel Crush

Marrakesh! 

Video from here.

And Nepal! Namaste! 

Video from here.

Let this be a reminder for me to keep on my best effort at work so I can take some days off later when schedule is not too tight. For now, this video should be enough, though... How about you? Where is your dream destination recently?

Society's Judgement or Our Own Uncertainty?

I’ve been reading a lot of articles and thoughts that spread all over the social media about our young generation complaining or sometimes blaming over and over again about what we so called “judgment”. When we come to age of maturity -which in our culture is 24/25 and so on- people tend to start catching up on us about the important matters in our life when we meet. And what is it all about, speaking of which?

Marriage, career, achievements, and even children.

“When will you get married with your long time boyfriend?”

“Hasn’t it been years since you two dating? When will it be official?”

“When will you pursue your chosen specialty? What will it be anyway?”

“Where are you working now? Don’t you want to have your own clinic?”

“I see that you posted a lot of pictures aboard in Instagram, you study aboard now?”

I heard those sentences almost everytime I meet my long lost friends, or families. And maybe most of us around previous mentioned age have been hearing the similar type of question quite intense lately. And it looks like there will be no end to those questions, it is not uncommon to me to hear people asking to someone older than me:

“When will you try for another babies?”

“Where does your son study now? He is a very bright kid I remember.”

“I hear your son has just got accepted at those multi national company? Congratulation for him.”

People will always be asking us about matters they thought important in life. And there is no harm about that, in my opinion. 

What is important in someone’s life is absolutely different from one person to another. Those happy wives will think that marriage is important and they will ask you about when will you get married, those successful friends who now run a well known restaurant chain will ask you about what’s your newest project is, those philanthropist friends of yours will ask about whether or not you have participated in creating a perfect corporate social responsibility in your office.

There will be no end to those questions.

According to my case, those people who asked me the question: my parents, my big families,  my dear friends, never judge me after I give my answer.

On “When will you get married?”

I usually will answer: “I do not have any plan to get married anytime soon, I am still in my clinical year pursuing my DDS degree. For now, I have two plan before I get married, after getting my DDS I want to pursue a one year master in health management or I will go to remote area, which also for a year, to do an internship in remote area clinic.”

For now, I love learning, I love traveling, and I love interpersonal relationship; in that order.

Maybe unlike what they know, what they thought, what they hope, my answer is not a quite common answer they usually get. But they understand, or even sometimes, open for a further discussion. Because I give them a clear answer.

A clear answer will come when I am certain of my choices. Whether it is common or uncommon choices, when I am certain of what I choose, people tend to support me too.  I don’t know about you, but in my case, that is the deal.

So, when people ask us “When will you get married?” -instead of showing them our own perspective of what is important in our life, how our goals set and how we put them in our very own priorities order- we get angry and call them judgmental, maybe we have to sit for a while, asking once again to ourselves, “Am I certain of my own choices, my own plan, my reasoning? Am I certain of what I stand for? Why do I got angry and offended over those simple question if I can clearly and easily answer it?”

From beaches, museums to highlands. Ubud, Singapore, Istanbul, to Kapadokya. Some of my latest journey I'm sure I'm in love with which I haven't been able to share in this blog, and promise to share it soon.

Head Turner

Prom is just around the corner and I still could remember what I wore as a high school young lady who is still clueless about how to dress to be a head turner, and I may say that most of my friends, boys or girls, are also as clueless as me. Now that I finally had invent my signature style, I think it is just the right time to write about how would I dress, if I were to go back to high school prom. While hoping that you might get some enlightenment which can be useful for your own prom style, hopefully!

How I look at my high school prom (year 2010) which had a masquerade theme. It is such a fashion disaster I know: stupid layering, stupid shoes color, and no make up at all. And the one beside me too: the wrong informal shoes turn down his appearance. 

Now, if I were to go back to high school today, it will be quite easier because I could find quite a few dresses and tuxedos rental online, which will cut down my budget for those beautiful outfit I need, to boost my appearance. Back then at 2010, it is still hard to find great and edible online shop, let alone dresses or tuxedos online rental. 

Speaking about prom style first, what is my preferences? Is it to have a matching dresses and tux with my companion? Or does his tie match better with my dress, in bow tie or long tie? Here is what I thought, first about ladies style:

• Black or white is the best color to boost our appearances, when added with a strong personality. I like black or white dresses, not because it is safe, but because when basic color is added with the perfect amount of confidence and personality, the whole appearance become perfectly presentable. 
• Choose a dress that show your most admirable parts, and cover everything else. For me, I love to show off my shoulder and clavicle because when a dress beautifully showed it off, it creates a perfect figure for my face. A proper make up and an exposed shoulder hides my chubby cheek. And, I would love to cover the other part of my body, because people love to play mystery game. If you can see everything, what is left to wonder anyway?
• Do the hair properly. Whether it is a full up do or a half up do, your hair have to match your make up and your dresses. For me, a half up do or a curled hair is okay when it is combine with  a sabrina dresses, but when the dress cover your shoulder, it is better to do a full up do.
• Put the right amount of make up. I believe that I have shown the disaster when you using no make up to a prom night in my above picture.
• Matching the dress with the tux? It is absolutely you and your companion own decision. My tips is, it is better not to force things. So when your dress color could match the tie color of your companion perfectly and it looks good on him, go on. But, when it turns out that the matching game turn down your companion's appearance, might as well forget about it and just match your chemistry to make your appearance perfect.

The kind of dresses I prefer for prom, courtesy of renttherunway.com

I found all of the dresses above from renttherunway.com For you who is located in the US, I recommend you to visit the site. The system is easy, the dresses collection is awesome, and the price is very reasonable. And do not worry for my readers who reside in Indonesia, this belsbee.com and threewdress.com is beyond awesome, located in Jakarta and ready to ship to all over Indonesia, yay!

Now, speaking about tuxedo. What is my tips on choosing the best tux? Here we go:

• Can't a suit be your choice instead of a tux for prom? Suit won't have satin in it. And those little difference is absolutely put a tremendous enhancement on your look. It is okay to wear suit to a prom, but when you prefer to choose tux, it will be one memorable night with one memorable and special look, that what tux brings to your appearance.
• Bow tie is more classic than long tie. If you want to look a little bit not too formal, of course long tie is a choice. But according to me, bow tie suits tuxedo more, because the classic ambience it brings to your whole look.
• Matching game with your lady's dress? Basically, it is the same with what I have said above. Do not force on things. When the color of the accessories you choose to match with your lady's dress is suited you best and put a whole enhancement to your look, go for it. But when it turns down your appearance, no no no. 
• What is the best color for tux? Black is always classic. I love classic. But grey will give a little playful touch to your appearance. And navy blue do make your skin radiates its shine. So, your choice, which of the colors that matches your personality the most.

Notched Lapel Tuxedo

Rental price: $95 for pants and coat

Midnight Blue Tuxedo

Rental price: $120 for pants and coat

I stumble upon that incredible US online tuxedo rental, The Black Tux, and I am in love with it. Founded on 2013, of course, this is why I never heard of any of well-reputable online tuxedo rental back then. Look at the price of those tuxedos above, in my opinion it really is reasonable for such a good quality tuxedos. And, what does the thing that makes me fall in love with The Black Tux the most? Of course its renting system! I do not know that renting a suit could be this easy, I wish I knew.

Wait, that scheme above doesn't show how convenience it is to rent in The Black Tux yet. This is it: fit guarantee. The black tux gives us 2 option:

1. Replacement items (If we tell The Black Tux within 48hrs after we receive our order that the size doesn't fit, they will replace the tux for free).
2. Professional alterations (The Black Tux allows us to have a local tailor make adjustments on sleeve or pant length when they are a little off).

Oh my god, how cool is that? So you guys do not need to worry that the tuxedo that you rent won't perfectly fit on you. Convenient, reasonably priced, and luxurious. That's what I thought about The Black Tux. Anyway, for you who reside in Indonesia, sadly I haven't been able to find any online tuxedo rental that is as great as The Black Tux, so if you ever heard about any of it, would you please kindly suggest me in the comment section? I will appreciate it very much.

Sadly, I do not have any full picture with my favorite dress above. But don't you see the major difference from this picture and my first picture above? A proper make up, the right dress that suits both your personality and your figure, and the right hair do simply will make you shine, and better yet, be a head turner.

Too

She walks too fast for her laid-back neighborhood

She has a too open thoughts for her conservative neighbor

She is too opinionated for her male dominated workplace

She is too demanding for an easy satisfied society

She is too curious for her careless generation

She is too observant for her ignorant surroundings

She does not fit anywhere, other than in her own thinking

She is too…

alive

Timeless Truth

My job in dental hospital needed me to wear mask for minimum 6 hours a day. At the end of the day, I could always see that my skin deserves more treatment for it always looks dry and dull.  Beside giving it serum and essence, I believe that once in a while I have to wear face mask to give my skin extra hydration. So, it is not an uncommon scene that I look through every beauty web looking for the perfect mask. Thanks god one day I found Timeless Truth, I have reviewed their eye mask before, click HERE to read the post. And this time I will tell you about its face mask. 

Web: http://www.ttmask.co.id

Product: Orchid Extract Replenishing Mask, Price: 50.000idr/piece 

Before wearing the mask:

I do not wear any make up except for a little lip cream, post cleansing face

How the mask looks like: 

It covers face area and got ears attachment, the mask will stay in its place perfectly and so my skin can absorb all of its nutrient.

After removing the mask: 

Massage the remaining essence into the skin.

After wearing the mask: 

Although I did not see any significant difference, but I could see that my face is more hydrated, looks fresh, and I believe if I wear the mask regularly, it will bring a good result

Above, I am wearing Orchid Extract Replenishing Mask. It provides a barrier on the skin locking in moisture for a long lasting effect. Orchid extract instantly helps to hydrate and plump out the tissues leaving a smoother finer surface to the skin. 

How to use the face mask:

• Cleanse the face.
• Open the sachet and take out the mask. Adjust mask to adhere entirely over the face positioning opening for eyes and mouth. Stretch to attach to ears.
• Lift up chin layer and attach to ears.
• Press the mask lightly with both hand until it adheres completely.
• Remove the mask after 15-20 minutes and gently massage the remaining essence into the skin.

As you can see above, I would say I did not see any significant difference. But I could feel instant hydration on my skin and it suddenly is feel moisture and I could not love it less! I think I really should wear Timeless Truth face mask regularly. Next time I also really want to try the other face mask variant for they have so much more. Which one you think should I try first, its anti aging mask or its whitening mask? 

Bad Day - Daniel Powter

I can not believe I haven't write anything in this blog for more than two months. What have I done in this past two months? Have I been… lost? Uninspired? I can not say that I have been feeling stressed, because I am not. I just got overwhelmed with a lot of goals, ambitions, my perfectionism towards my work; to keep it on track, and when I need more energy I went on holiday. I have been traveling to about five different places in three different countries just in these past two months, to get more energy to keep my work on track. But one thing is missing I guess, I haven't done any reflections, haven't think about any new resolutions, and I miss writing. So, here I am. 

I am that kind of person who will runaway when things got tough, not to run from my problem, but to clear my mind, get some fresh passion, and think of the best solution, then I will come back and try to finish whatever I have started, perfectly. And this "runaway & come back" habit of mine, is getting intense lately. I think I have to change this habit a little bit, I have to change my initial intention on traveling so it will not be this unhealthy habit anymore. But, let's talk about my last most magical and mindgasm runaway in Bali first.

A couple months ago, I got this problem about my work, let the details be unexplained, but this problem put a huge weight on me because it may affects other's life in a slightly negative way, and I hate it. I do not accept it, if my work affects others that way. So on one Friday morning, I impulsively book a ticket to Denpasar, that Friday night, off I go to Bali. Not without a reason I choose Bali, I know that Ubud Writers and Readers Festival (UWRF) 2015 was being held at that time and I think I can get some mind refreshment from the sharing session at UWRF. The beginning of my journey is surprisingly already being magical. A middle aged Balinese man suddenly approached me on my way to board the plane, he asked me random things at first, but his talking gets more interesting as we land in Denpasar. Out of nowhere he said, in Bahasa: "Hidup ini seperti wayang, ceritanya tergantung dalangnya. Maka dari itu, kamu hidup jangan dibuat susah. Kamu harus terima apa adanya, sepertinya kamu terlalu memikirkan detail-detail kecil, tenang aja, dinikmati. Oh iya, temen kamu yang diluar orangnya sepertinya low-profile dan agak cuek ya." ("This life is like Wayang (traditional story of Indonesia usually portrayed with human puppets), the story line is up to the Dalang (Wayang's main story teller). So, do not complicate your life. You have to accept things as it is, it looks like you overthink small details, just be calm, enjoy your life. By the way, your friends out there, it looks like they are low profile and a little bit careless, huh?")

Okay, it sounds a bit surreal, but yes, it turns out that the man can "read" a person. I can not believe that the beginning of my journey in Bali, is already that magical. I feel like now I can be a little calm, I have to, because everything is actually will be okay if we work our best on it, right? Why do I forgot that I can not control every little detail, why do I forgot that there is something bigger than me controlling my main story line? Long story short,  I bought one day pass to UWRF which I attend with my cousin, who was already in Ubud since she had planned her trip long before my impulsive journey. 

Ubud Writers and Readers Festival 2015 with theme "17.000 Islands of Imagination"

Speaking about UWRF, it is an event that is held annually since 2003. I once heard about this UWRF from my friend who attended the 2013 event and I just instantly fall in love with its idea. I always planned to go to UWRF, but it is never happened, but once I do not plan it, I just happened to be able to attend it, impulsive is sometimes really is a good idea. Please check UWRF web HERE, and I bet you too, will fall in love with it. UWRF gather world thinkers and artists in a smart theme that change every year, take place in serene and divine Ubud, and packed in a casual with a twist way along a sharing session. Once I looked into its main program schedule, I feel excited already and I can not choose which program should I attend because all of them is just so tempting, but sadly some program held at the same time, but in few different places, so I have to choose. 

Words are The Way

Featuring: Ee'da Sahida Ibrahim, Zohab Khan, James Shea, Nathalie Handal, Emilie Zoey Baker

That above is my second favorite session of the day. The speaker are talents who use poetry to educate, promote social change, and inspire and celebrate diversity. These are some quotes that I remember and instantly fall in love with from the session:

• Moderator: "What crushes your grapes into an exquisite wine?" / Nathalie: "It is how I always need permission to enter a place, except permission to enter my homeland."
• "A poem should resist the intelligence almost successfully."
• "When you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, that is the first step you allowed yourself to be seen and to be witnessed." (Ee'da Sahida Ibrahim)

Telling Tales

Featuring: Made Taro, Phillip Gwynne, Afonso Cruz

And say hello to my number one favorite session. In this session, we were talking about children's writers messages for the next generation and how they communicate them. It is unimaginable, I do not expect that writing a children book is that hard, and need a lot of thinking and consideration: of what messages the writer wants to put and of how to put the messages in an interesting story line or funny yet educating cartoon series. This is a quote from the session that giving me mindgasm:

"We laugh when we mock someone, yet we cry when we truly happy. We put everything we love in cages; partners, that's why we married them. We put our children at home. Money on banks. It is a contradiction."

My cousin and her gelato on Food Bazaar

Seniman Coffee on Food Bazaar

Bebek Bengil

And, a nice mindgasm doesn't complete without good food and good coffee! I guess UWRF know it so well, so there was also available a food bazaar in front of  the main venue of UWRF, and the tenant is amazing! All of the food available at the bazaar is the best in Bali. My preference, of course, coffee! And for lunch we had Bebek Bengil (was not available in Bazaar) so we drove our car to Bebek Bengil Ubud at Jalan Hanoman. Gosh, how I miss its sambal matah!

Dress (Zalora), Shoes (The Little Things She Needs), Bag (Charles & Keith), Watch (Fossil)

A little #ootd doesn't hurt, does it? I just want to give a little time to tell you how much I love my dress I bought from Zalora. It is chic yet smart, a little bit casual yet also a little bit formal, just the perfect outfit to be worn to a discussion session in Ubud. And good news is you can use my code to get additional 15% discount if you happen to be fall in love with that kind of dress too, yay. Just go to Zalora web, choose your desired one, and upon check out fill this code in the available coupon space: ZBAPZAD5 and tadaaa! 15% off of your total payment, yay!

Borneo's Story at Blanco Renaissance Museum

Dinner at Casa Luna

Back to UWRF,  I have to tell you that UWRF is that perfect, because they do not only provide us a divine sharing session, but they also held a lot of arts and cultural programs, and those Borneo's Story is one of them. As the sun set, I enjoy a storytelling featuring Dayak Kenyah and Benuaq Tribe elders. They told stories about their people's struggle to protect the natural and cultural heritage that is vital to their identity and survival. A beautiful performance as the sun set, and in a museum! I could not ask for more. At the end of the day, we had our dinner at Casa Luna. Its founder who is also the founder of UWRF, loves spices, and so that bread in the picture is one delicious bread that tastes like nothing I have ever taste before; the bread is spicy, but exceptionally delicious! 

In one day, my mind has stretched its muscle to the limit. For a day in Ubud is filled with intriguing thoughts, cultures, arts, books, good long walks, and absolutely divine dining. From that one short yet meaningful and magical journey, I come back to work with not a whole new perspective, but with a lot more grateful feeling towards my life. I know that I have to be more grateful, have to do as much effort as I could but at the same time have to be less controlling.

And from this writing, I have to promise my self that I should stop my "runaway & come back" habit. I have to stop thinking of traveling as my only space to think. I have to change my main intention on traveling, not as a media to cure my problem, but as a way to learn, to be more grateful, and to simply enjoy the life that I have been given.