Monday, October 1, 2018

Love is a Verb

Dress (Minimal)

Been so unproductive these last two months since the 7 SR earthquake which I experienced in North Lombok, West Nusa Tenggara last August. I might be the one complaining why it takes us so long to find the courage to get back up on our feet, to start the daily routine, to start rebuilding everything which was ruined because of the earthquake whether it is homes, workplaces, or the previously established activities. But I might also be the one who can not put my mind in the right place just to be able to finish a post. 

Clearly life after disaster is not an easy one. Where to sleep, what to eat, how to go to work, until the fastest way to take a bath got to be thought of for the earthquakes is still happening although in a less damaging intensity. So for me, I found it hard to do too much work, when it used to be an easy peasy matter for me. But I try to get back to my old routine by writing regularly again... So, wish me luck...

"Never about the flowers and all that is dashing. Always about the effort and the verb that is involved." That was the words I always talk to the one I love. When it is at their special day, or my special day, of course a little gesture to show how much we care for each other is important. 

Thank you for the flowers to the one who gave this. Thank you for the effort for no matter simple things might seem, every effort would take some of our precious time. Love is a verb, said John Mayer. 

And it really is true. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Humble Me, Lord

You might sometimes found me saying that in order to be fully happy money is the most important factor that should be included. Yet you also might found me saying that the real happiness lies in the sheer simplicity of the presence of my significant other. 

Do you think that it is possible for one to be so kind they never once act selfish and only think about their own fulfillment? Do you think it is possible for one to be so humble they never once feel special when they are able to get the privilege others don't get? Do you think it is possible for one to be so patient they never once scream frantically over the frustation which happen without asking permission first? 

I didn't think it is possible. 

I always believe that a person consist of thousands of mixed up emotions and ideas. The environment they grew up in, the books they read, the people they met, the places they visited, every positive and negative occasions which were happened in their life, shape ones to be the complicated people they are today. 

People are complicated.

Just because they break their promise once, it does not bluntly mean they will not be responsible on other important matters. Just because a man cheated on his spouse, it does not mean they will not be responsible and fully love his kid in the future. Just because this one woman I know is so down to earth, it does not mean she will not once brag about her privilege she get which allows her to travel the world in first class flight. 

I know that for sure. So, I let my self react and act over matters in my imperfect manner. Sometimes I feel that I am nothing compared to the vast universe it makes me feel powerless and so humble, sometimes I feel so content over the privilege I get compared to others I subconsciously proud of this stupid meaningless materialistic matter. And the next time, I could find my self realise I should not be so proud so I surpress my ego and try to think about God.

Like billions other people, I am always a mixed of emotions and ideas.

Only on this one night, last August 5th, did I ever only feel one single emotion inside me. I was there experiencing the 7.0 SR earthquake which hits West Nusa Tenggara. I was there hiking up the hill trying to save my life in case Tsunami did happen. I was there seeing the little area went dark when the electricity cut off. 

And what I feel was only one emotion. Humility. You humble me, Lord

I never thought I could ever be so simple. I never thought I could only feel one emotion inside me. But it did happen

Yesterday, I grew one year older. And this month has taught me more than the last 26 years of my life has been. And I never thought that it takes this big momentum to be able to make me feeling this one simple emotion in front of my God.

So, thank you for this year, for teaching me to humble my self, my dear God ❤️

Friday, July 6, 2018

🕉️ ~ Om

🕉️ ring (Yin Jewelry For The Soul), Buddha bracelet (bought at one little shop at Gili Air),
Dress (This is April), Sandals (bought at one little shop at Ubud), Sunglasses (Giordano)

🕉️ is a sacred sound and symbol both in Hinduism and Buddhism. My trip to Tibet and Nepal made me love both Hinduism's and Buddhism's core spirit and way of life more and more each day. For it only means good and brings peace to my soul. A lot of mantra begins with this symbol. And as for the meaning, it might be various. From "the infinite language, the infinite knowledge", "essence of breath, life, everything that exists", until "with which one is liberated".

But no matter which meaning we mean when reciting this mantra, it only means good. And how happy I was when I found this little jewelry shop at one corner of Gili Air, Yin Jewelry for The Soul, and accidentaly found the ring. It is funny how bringing this symbol with me makes me feel like bringing good luck whenever I go. 

Oh and when I walk along the little alley at Gili Air I also stumbled upon a little souvenir shop and found The Buddha bracelet. It is funny how I found more of this jewelry with Hinduism and Buddhism symbol which I love, here in Nusa Tenggara just when I do not look for it. Yet when I looked for it in Tibet and Nepal the last time I traveled, I found none. 

Doesn't life work like that, too? What is meant for us will be ours. It might not always comes at the time we desire, at the time we want for it, at the time we look for it. But isn't when it is at the right space and continuum, then we finally will feel its presence without having to force anything? Might as well just, recite the positive mantra while enjoying the ride, then.