Eventhough ballerina means a female ballet dancer, which means technically I am a ballerina, but I still do not think I deserve those title. It has been a year now, I start regularly practicing ballet every Tuesday night in this little but nice ballet studio at the second floor of a doll shop. Why ballet? Why now in my mid 20s? Ain't I a little too old and a little too late to start fresh in practicing something as hard as ballet? Something which usually be learnt from a very young age?
When do you consider something as late? Are there some exact standard based on a calculated statistic published in a paper? If no, then I conclude that nothing is ever too late. Late, in this case, is just a matter of perception and social stereotype, and I choose not to believe in any stereotype. Everybody can do everything they wish to as long as it is a positive one and do not harm any other aspect, no?
I started my ballet class with a grade 2 RAD (Royal Academy of Dance) Ballet syllabus. At first, me and my 3 adult friends joined a class consist of 5 to 8 years old students. We were the oldest in the class yet we were the less skilled students. Even grade 2's Plie is hard for me to do, not to mention its Adage. At first everything is hard, I have to be fully focus to listen to the music and dance my body in the right movement. At first it was hard to enjoy the dance because I have to think, hard. But as time goes by and as I learn little by little my body automatically dance more gracefully to the classical music in an instant. I dance more and think less. As time goes by I can finally enjoy my Tuesday ballet class as how it is supposed to be enjoyed.
Now, Plie, Preparation for Grands Battements, Adage, Battement Tendus, Grand Allegro, name it the ballet movements of grade 2, I can finally enjoy dancing in them. My Tuesday ballet class becomes the day I wait the most in a week. It is become a routine to keep my sanity between a hectic and stressful workdays. Now me and my 3 friends attend our own class and rarely met our fellow 5-8 years old classmates. Sometimes I miss them for I learn much from them at my very first encounter with ballet. Never once I'm ashamed to learn from them, both about ballet and about life, generally.
Sometimes we ourselves are the one putting too much limitations in our life. That we should not do something most of people don't. That we can not learn from someone younger than us. That something is too late for us to start. That something is not for us even before we try it. Imagine if there were no such things as prejudices, judgements, and stereotypes, what is it the thing you dream to do? Do you have one?
Why don't you go for it?
I am no a ballerina, yet. But I still have the gut and willingness to work on it until I deserve those title, whenever it will be.
Here are few photos from the rehearsal of my first ballet recital:
The Princess and The Pea