Monday, June 5, 2017

People, Minds, Hearts

Time's been talking to me
Whispering in my ear 
Saying “Follow your heart Til it tears you apart” 
But hearts keep changing
Hearts keep changing
Hearts keep changing
Hearts keep changing

John Mayer - Changing

These past two and a half years was not an easy time for me and my family. We have been through some turbulence and the floats of inconvenience events shakes my beliefs, pushed me to shift my point of view, and question my judgements. 

People change. Minds change. Hearts, too, change.

If there is one thing I can be sure of out of these circumstances, it is those three above.

Someday, someone may loves his/her spouse to the point where he/she wants to spend the rest of their life with this other person, but the next day he/she goes into a new place he/she never visited before and in an instance he/she decided to spend the rest of his/her life traveling the world, alone. People change.
I can see someone as a very decent person, and I can hold them dear, but the next moment I saw them doing one thing which is wrong from my point of view, I see them no longer as a protagonist. My mind changes. 
A man/a woman can loves his/her spouse so dearly but the next time they meet another person who beats their hearts a beat faster they can be falling in love with that other person, their hearts change.

We've been given a skill to adapt. So it is normal then, to change, isn't it?

Food Vendors near Galata Bridge, Istanbul, Turkey

Kebab! Some Kebab Outlet at Spice Market, Istanbul, Turkey

Having Dinner at a Restaurant under Galata Bridge Facing Those View!

Get My Self Warmed up at Cafe on Top of Camlica Hill, Camlica Sosyal Tesisleri

Mercimek Corbasi, Bread, and Salad that I Miss The Most!

Downtown Kapadokya, Turkey

The Magical Fairy Chimney at Kapadokya

Kapadokya's Ceramic!

Dining inside a Cave Restaurant at Kapadokya, Turkey

I remember a year and a half ago, I traveled to Turkey. It was new year. The snow was falling the whole time I was in Turkey. I remember how fascinated I was as our plane ready to land and I could see square colorful houses covered in white looking so small from my window. I was feeling warm. Turkey greeted me good. 

It was new year in the snowy winter, the best time of celebration you could ever experience. The street in Turkey is so alive, full with the twinkles of lights and festivity. Turkey alone, without the colours of festivity is already so magical. A combination of european and islamic architecture along downtown Istanbul is really one of a kind. Just see at how seeing Blue Mosque and Haghia Sophia is able to send those amazement inside our minds. 

Then, apart from Istanbul. There is Kapadokya. A high plateu, over 1000 meters in altitude, full of volcanic peaks. When it was almost sunset and on a hot air balloon can I see the full view of the mystical Kapadokya, a vast lands below, beautiful hot air balloons around, and a warm twilight sky above. It was dream come true. Even better than dream. If reality was always that good, I don't ever want to dream for it will be such a waste of time.

Back then at a new page of a year, though there were already some inconvenience events here and there in my life, though I was wounded and pushed to see things from different point of view, I still think that someday, someday I will be back to Turkey with ones I love, with whom I will spend the rest of my life with. They have to see its charm with their own eyes. Or moreover, travel to another part of the world, too, together.

But there is this other day, where I think I want to go back to Turkey, alone. Traveling this world selfishly, only with my self. Undisturbed, simple, and free. It will be easier to think only for yourself, no? Besides, they say, we live alone, we die alone, everything else is just an illusion. It is ourselves that matter and that we have full responsibility to take care of, and where we can fully depend on.

People change, my mind change, my heart change. However.

People say that we read a book to be able to read ourselves. I write so I can pour my scattered thoughts in order. So that later I can read my writings in order to understand me. Today, I don't, though.

I hope tomorrow I will, finally be able to understand. 

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