Thursday, May 10, 2018

Will I ever?

North Lombok, West Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia

The room of Zipp Bar Restaurant & Bungalows 

The bathroom

The exterior and its pool

Gili Air, North Lombok
Ph. 081917310209

Waking up at Gili Air I could not help but feeling serene and refreshed, even after the rather heavy workload I had the day before. I put my bathing suit and robe on, put on a proper amount of sun block cream, pick up my sunglasses, books, and phone (to play some music) and off I went to the beach in front of my bungalow to enjoy the warm sun and the crystal clear water. 

Speaking about the hotel I stayed the last time I went to Gili Air, I surprisingly love it. The first time I arrived, I feel a little bit confuse because the bar is on a renovation and there is a mess here and there, the bungalows is located behind the bar. Turns out, now there is this regulation from the government which ban any cafe or hotel built along the shoreline. There is minimum distance from the beach to where a cafe or hotel is allowed to be built and operated. So, a lot of places are doing renovation.

But after entered the bungalows, I find that I love the place. The bungalows is near to a beautiful beach with a white sand and crystal clear water with a sight of breathtaking green hills as the background. Scallywags beach club with its delicious meals and comfortable seating set is just two minutes by walk. Yet, somehow the bungalows is quite and secluded. (Not to mention its super helpful staff whom I love!). 

In the morning, after get enough with the sun and the beach, I swim in the pool while enjoying their coffee and french toast. When outside, the sun is burning my skin, surprisingly the ambience in its pool is comfortable with fresh air and refreshing breeze playing out with my hair. After that, taking bath in their open air bathroom is the perfect way to start just another plan of walking around Gili Air in the morning while looking for some gelato. Just, I guess they need some maintenance on their bathroom's and bedding's cleanliness so they can be super comfortable.

Anyway, it was a perfect day at Gili Air. 

So, having no one to take care of, I have plenty of time. For self improvement; I could read books all day long on my day off while waiting for the laundry to dry before ironing it, I could write for hours after done cleaning the room and done with the dish washing, I could travel to wherever I want to go,  whenever I want to, I could work all day long thus my knowledge, experience, and skill will be improved, I could take some time every few months to do volunteering in a case I care about (mostly on children education, literature, and gender parity).

These past years it is always about "I". Moreover, growing up in a family where parents giving the ultimate freedom; of thinking, of doing, of the future, I always feel I can choose the best option for me out of the choices available, another matters always might be excluded. My parents are the one who ensure me that I can fly high up as I could, I do not need to take care of them because they can take care of themselves and love living their life, enjoying their job and traveling the globe. Thus, I do not used to think about others when making a decision. When I want to work faraway from them I can just go, when I want to pursue my study in a different continent might as well doing it as I wish, when I want to impulsively go to Nepal I can just take the next plane. What a selfish individual, I understand. 

And now come the time where I might start to have to care about others. When my relationship will go to a more serious step, I have to be responsible to others, other than my parents. Here comes the condition where I might not get the amount of freedom my parents used to give me. Because I will have new (and a lot) responsibilities which I have to take care of, too.

I might have to think about the other parties before choosing where I will pursue my study; will I still  able to do my responsibility when I am away from home? Will they be okay to take care of themselves and enjoying their life while I take a little time to focus on my self, will they enjoy their lives the way my parents do? Will I ever? Will I ever be able to adjust my plan and my decision with others, when all this time I can always do things as I wish, whenever and whatever?

These things have been bothering me lately. These new concept of life. As bothered as my mind can be, I just try to think that I will try my best to do each of my responsibility, responsibly. There might be some, or a lot of inconveniences here and there but I will try to adapt to it the way I happily adapt to a new neighborhood I found in a new places I travel. The new neighborhood might be noisy and dusty just like the little alleys along Thamel, Kathmandu but when I try to see the beauty inside, of how the beautiful mess of praying flags above the Thamel road reflects the faith of each of individual hold dear inside their heart, of how the messy old book store provides the best gem of books, about life, about balance, about philosophy. There, then, I still able to feel complete, even between the mess. 

And around people with a positive mind, no matter how chaos the world might be, I wish, we will always be able to enjoy this live, though sometimes the tides might be dangerous, but there will still be time where the tides is as beautiful as the ones along Gili's shoreline on a summer day, no?

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